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Coping with Stress of Infertility



Coping with emotional stress associated with infertility is very important as it drifts apart the couple and leave them completely shattered. This  comes from both the inside and out. It could be family, peer group, friends, relatives, colleagues and even sometimes strangers. The couple is repeatedly reminded that the “clock is ticking”

The stress even rises in cosmopolitan cities where late marriages , postponing the child birth, life style, pollution, work pressure , etc. predisposes .

The relationship may be further strained by the actual process of trying to conceive. Scheduling sex for ovulation can make intimacy feel chore-like. Studies have found timing sexual intercourse to conceive may lead to problems with sexual performance, for men, and a decrease in overall sexual satisfaction, for both men and women.

Trying to get pregnant can have a tremendous emotional impact and may affect every aspect of your life. There are number of things you can do when you find the stress overwhelming. These are the ways to cope with stress of infertility


One of the important factor which causes infertility is hormonal imbalance as most of the hormones are liberated from brains. More you think about infertility, there will be hindrance in getting pregnant.

Taking care of yourself means eating right and getting check up done in time but most important is squeezing time for relaxation from your busy schedule .

Relaxation  means “ME TIME”.

Relaxation might be meditation, yoga, or an art class, or something  you really want to do which relaxes you. Something like taking a long bubble bath, or it might mean turning up the music and dancing yourself, drawing,  painting, talking to someone close to you.

In fact, making time to acknowledge the difficult feelings can help you feel freer and more relaxed. It’s important to find a safe place and time to shed your infertility tears.

One way to express yourself is through writing. Writing can be healing.

These practices can help to change your inner dialogue about your infertility by keeping you in the moment. When you are in present doing something positive which you really like it will be easy for you to forget former fertility failures or future fertility fears.

There are several mind-body therapies for infertility that can help you relax, and some have been shown to improve pregnancy rates. If you wish you can try them.

Get Moving

“Exercise is wonderful for releasing good endorphins, and it can make us feel happy and make it easier to cope with what’s going on in our lives. Walking is a great option because it’s low-impact and spending time outdoors is therapeutic. In the time of wait period during your treatment go running, both because it made you feel good and to keep in shape. During your treatment cycles, one must  rest, both physically and mentally.

One can also try yoga .Tell your instructor that you’re trying to get pregnant , she may modify some of the moves or have you avoid others. Keep in mind that your doctor might ask you to avoid certain exercises, so please take her advice on when and how much exercise is needed .


A proper diet not only nourishes body but mind and soul as well . As the mind becomes healthy it becomes more positive and is able to cope with the stress of infertility.  Nutrition is sort of like an orchestra: You need to have all factors in place for the best result.

Fiber helps to regulate blood sugar levels which helps to reduce fertility issues such as PCOS, immunological issues, and promotes healthy hormonal balance. Some examples of high fiber foods are fruits, vegetables, dark leafy greens, and beans.

Trans fats (found primarily in foods such as commercial baked and snack foods, animal products, french fries and some margarine) increase insulin resistance. The pancreas keeps pumping out more insulin anyway, and the result is more insulin in your bloodstream. High insulin levels cause a lot of metabolic disturbances that affect ovulation. Milk products ,nuts, occasional coffee and tea can be consumed.

Love Yourself And Identify Your Feelings

Loss of self-esteem, Feelings of failure or inadequacy, guilt, Feelings of being judged, shame Jealousy or anger and  financial stress further enhances the problem. Try to identify your feelings. Once you have identified your feelings, consider what those feelings are about, where they are coming from, and to whom those fears are directed. It is one thing, for example, to feel guilt. But guilt about what? Are they your feelings or feelings based on expectations from others? and to whom do you feel guilty? Your spouse? Your family? The future you had imagined for yourself?

By asking yourself these questions, you may be able to start understanding these emotions and share them with someone who can help.

There is no need to feel dejected or inferior while being treated . Always look on the positive side of situation .  If you’re still struggling, brainstorm other ways in which to declare your independence from infertility. That may mean refusing to be known as that “infertile friend,” making long term plans that aren’t baby related, or even listing your successes.

The stress of infertility can get our minds so wrapped up in getting pregnant that we forget what we used to do for fun.

Start writing and making a list of what you enjoyed in the past , today and would like to do in future . Write down the situation when you laughed and felt extremely happy in the past .

Always imagine and think as if you are getting pregnant but without attachment to the outcome. The law of attraction bring to you what you imagine, but never get disappointment if you don’t get pregnant that very cycle .

If you’re having trouble, call up a friend or have your partner help you out. Remember and make them remember when both you smiled or laughed  together .

Team work  

Don’t blame each other.

Even if you know that the fault lies in one of the partner don’t blame each other for your difficulty getting pregnant. If you have a spouse or partner, help and support each other through this time .

This doesn’t mean you need to feel the same thing at the same time – expecting to have the same emotional experience or ways of coping is one of the most common pitfalls for couples facing fertility problems. It does mean paying attention to what your partner’s going through. If you’re taking care of each other emotionally, you can unite to fight the problem, Work together to find practical ways to share the burden. If you’re undergoing treatment, your partner can take care of the paperwork. If one of you needs injected therapy, the other can administer the shot.

Take a Break

You should speak to your doctor, about taking a break . Your doctor can advise you the length of your break. If you’re over 35, time may be a factor. But most of the people should be able to take at least a little break if they are trying for a long time .

If trying to get pregnant has truly taken over your life, and all your efforts to take things back are not working, it may be time to step away for a while. Some times even taking a treatment also leads to stress and taking break may bring back your energy to walk again to your destination .

Educate yourself

Find out  about your fertility issue, but don’t surf too much negative things about your treatment. All the  conditions and severity of your disease is relative, your problem may not be that serious as you interpret  by surfing  Ask your doctor questions and talk to other people in your situation as well .

Staying educated is especially important when you’re dealing with a fertility problem because the technologies behind the treatments may change quickly. “You’ve got to understand what’s happening medically so that you will  be able to make informed choices.”

Quitting after a short treatment may not be beneficial and it takes little time to understand your problem and how your body responds . Have courage not to give up soon. Staying realistic can help you make smart choices as you work your way through the emotional minefield of treatment.

Don’t Let the Two Week Wait Take Over

The two-week wait is a time of high stress for most women trying to conceive. Each day between ovulation and your pending next period can feel like a year, and you may feel constantly anxious.

If you want to stop letting the two-week wait take over your life, it may help to focus on other things and people during that time. This is the time to meet the person you wanted to meet but couldn’t spare time earlier, call a person you feel most comfortable  with, plan a date with your partner, go on a girls-night-out with your friends, see that movie you always wanted to see, get started on some home or craft project

Your two-week wait obsessions may still linger in the back of your mind, but that’s much better than letting them sit in the front seat. If you’re finding those two weeks almost unbearable, try to go to some group of people who are quite positive and helpful to you.

Resist testing for pregnancy until your period is at least one day late. As long as your life centers around pregnancy tests, you are going to struggle. Even if the pregnancy test comes negative don’t lose hope.

Support group

Many couples with infertility feel isolated. It seems as if all their friends and family are getting pregnant, raising children, and moving on with the next phase of their lives and you are left alone

This is how a support group can help. You’ll be with other couples who are sailing in the same boat. Support groups are a good place to connect with others, but sometimes, you need more personal attention.

Counseling can help you work through the difficult emotions that infertility brings.

Some therapists  can also help you with making informed decisions regarding treatment and moving forward. Therapy may also help a couple whose relationship is struggling. Or, a therapist can help a couple who can’t agree on what to do next.

Let Your Friends Support You

Sometimes we’re so busy trying to protect ourselves from our family-oriented friends that we forget that they are still the same people who were our childless best buddies not too long ago.

Friends and family often want to support you, but they don’t know how. They are afraid of saying the wrong thing, or not saying the right thing. Don’t wait for them to read your mind.

Let friends and family know when you just need a shoulder to cry on. Not all people are equally tactful in this arena. But chances are you have at least a few friends and family who would be great supports. Identify those and spend some quality time with them.

Most importantly, know that this difficult time will pass. Every thing in this life is impermanent .No matter how your infertility resolves—with you eventually conceiving and having a baby, adopting, or having a child free life—things will get better. Time, counseling, and support from your friends and family will help.


And finally ,Faith is something you should always hold on. what ever may be the outcome always have faith and think whatever is happening with me is always for my good

Have faith in yourself , your partner , your doctor and GOD.

All the best to both of you .

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